
Class B J" 1 b5l. 
Book* L^'gfe: 

Gpfyright'N?— 



COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 



A GIRL'S IDEALS 

By 
MRS. ARMEL O'CONNOR 

Author of " The Idea of Mary* s Meadow" "Mary's 

Meadow Papers," "The Door," "Thoughts 

for Betty from the Holy Land" etc. 



3± 



MAGNIFICAT PUBLISHING CO. 

MANCHESTER, N. H. 

1919 



3 s^ 



Copyright 1919 

By Magnificat Publishing Co. 

Manchester, N. H. 



MAK ! 6 1920 



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§)C!.A565225 



TO YOU, DEAR GIRL OF THE NOBLE 
SOUL, TENDER HEART AND VIGOROUS 
INTELLECT, THIS LITTLE BOOK IS 
DEDICATED, AS AN AID IN THE CHOICE 
OF YOUR IDEALS AND A PRAYER 
THAT THOSE IDEALS MAY BE BEAUTI- 
FUL AND WOMANLY. 



CONTENTS 

A Girl's Ideals 

Mrs. Armel O'Connor 

I. The Lover I 

II. The Home 19 

III. Children... 38 

IV. Motherhood 54 

V. Work 65 

VI. Prayer 74 

Catholic Girlhood 

Rev. William Kitchin, Ph.D. 85 

The Ideal of Womanhood 

Rev. P. J. Scott 1 10 



These essays first appeared in 
The Magnificat and are now re- 
printed from its pages. 



A GIRL'S IDEALS 

MRS. ARMEL O'CONNOR 

I 

The Lover 

Later on will come ideals of home 
and children and motherhood and 
work and prayer, but I think the 
lover must come first. Until I re- 
membered the reveries of my own 
girlhood I was a little puzzled in 
deciding exactly the order in which 
to arrange these six ideals; then, 
looking back, I realized that I had 
better begin with Prince Charming, 
because whether I placed him first 
or not, you would do so. It is only 
natural that your hopeful, happy 
thoughts should run to meet the man 
whose coming into your life will help 



2 A Girl's Ideals 

or hinder all the journey of your 
after-years towards Heaven. Let 
us take it for granted that to every 
affectionate, impulsive, right-prin- 
cipled girl, every girl of a gentle and 
lovable nature, there must come 
sooner or later the conception of 
an exquisite ideal of human love — 
something so transcendently imag- 
ined that it will survive throughout 
her whole life, serving as a model to 
which she will return with a final 
constancy after whatever aberra- 
tions. Of course the subject is likely 
to assume great varieties of form 
and manner according to the habit 
of mind, character and disposition 
of each individual ; but, on the whole, 
the important thing is that your 
heart-strings should be in tune be- 
fore you attempt to play that melody 
— the melody of true love. 

It is not possible to state precisely 



A Giri/s Ideals 3 

the age at which you will begin 
to form your definite ideal. Meg 
March in " Little Women" was sev- 
enteen when she said, "I do not 
want to have anything to do with 
lovers for a long while — perhaps 
never. " And her younger sister Jo 
exclaimed, with a funny mixture 
of interest and contempt, "I don't 
know anything about such nonsense ! 
Romantic rubbish, I call it." Yet 
not long afterwards we find Meg 
making her wedding dress herself, 
sewing into it the tender hopes and 
innocent romances of a girlish heart ; 
while Jo, who had gone out shopping 
one rainy day without an umbrella, 
" suddenly found herself walking 
away arm in arm with her Professor, 
feeling as if the sun had burst out 
with uncommon brilliancy, that the 
world was all right again, and that 
one thoroughly happy young woman 



4 A Girl's Ideals 

was paddling through the wet that 
day!" And when the Professor 
asked, "Can you make a little place 
in your heart for me?" she said, 
"Oh, yes!" folded both hands over 
his arm, and looked up at him with 
an expression that plainly showed 
how happy she would be to walk 
through life beside him even though 
she had no better shelter than his old 
umbrella — if he carried it. 

Perhaps, with you, it may not be 
till late in your teens that some 
account of knightly chivalry stirs 
your imagination and you exclaim 
enthusiastically, "Quentin Durward 
is the man for me!" Or perhaps 
some gentle, domestic situation will 
appeal to your fancy or touch your 
heart, and you may say with Meg, 
after Demi had been so very naughty, 
"I need never fear that a husband 
like John Brooke will be too harsh 



A Girl's Ideals 5 

with my babies !" And until that 
moment the possibility of a love 
affair in connection with yourself 
may never have occurred to your 
mind. Yet again, it may be that 
ever since your nursery days, when 
at the end of the fairy-tales you 
read how "they lived happily ever 
after, " you have known that the 
ideal of married life is a beautiful 
and possible condition. 

In any case, by the time you read 
this it will not be the handsome, 
dashing hero of Ouida's novels who 
will steal away your heart, nor the 
adventurous young prince in the 
fairy-tale. On your journey through 
life in the twentieth century both 
Captain Dashwood and Prince Ride- 
through-the-Forest are soon left be- 
hind. It is rather your own need 
of sympathy and understanding of 
which you are conscious now; the 



6 A Girl's Ideals 

desire to share your ideas with some- 
one who is all your own; an intense 
longing for a kindred soul. Little 
Dorrit's Clenham might do, so ten- 
der, chivalrous and protecting; or Ur- 
sula's John Halifax, so much at 
one with her in his high standard of 
conduct, his toleration of the views 
of others, and his unselfish devotion 
to the best interests of his family, 
that he and she were able to read one 
another's minds. 

You want a perfect lover, like the 
finest heroes in the best books. I 
understand. And you shall have 
him, dear. Why not? If " none but 
the brave deserve the fair," it is also 
true that the fair deserve the brave. 
Marriages are made in Heaven. 
Mine was: so I know. You will 
not have to look out for your future 
husband. Just pray, and he will 
come. Pray as much as ever you 



A Girl's Ideals 7 

like, as much as ever you can; but 
for at least ten minutes a day. It 
would not be reasonable to expect a 
Heaven-sent lover if you devoted 
to the thought of him less time than 
that. So, however much occupied 
you are, however many claims there 
may be upon your time, although 
your days may be filled up with the 
fatigues of work or the far worse 
rush and distraction of fashionable 
pleasure, set apart ten minutes of 
your fresh, bright, morning thoughts 
for the man who is on his way to bless 
your life with his admiration, his 
reverence, and his love. 

When you want to make a satis- 
factory cake you take care to use 
the right ingredients and follow an 
approved recipe, and I think if you 
want to make a happy marriage in 
this present age, in this wicked world 
where so many clever men and 



8 A Girl's Ideals 

women who ought to know far bet- 
ter are doing all they can to establish 
easier methods of divorce, you must 
take a little trouble about it while 
you are still young. Join hands with 
me across the Atlantic Ocean, please, 
and let us set ourselves to make 
happy marriages easier. Then we 
shall really be a blessing to the world. 
Now the recipe for a good husband 
is simply this: a girl's good thoughts. 
And during those ten minutes which 
you are going to devote to your 
future lover let half be for his quali- 
ties and half be for your own. First 
think out all his noble attributes, 
his upright principles, his Heavenly- 
mindedness, and thank God that 
there are such men on the earth and 
plenty of them. Nothing you can 
imagine will exceed the greatness of 
that splendid personality whom you 
will be privileged to meet some day. 



A Girl's Ideals 9 

If you are fond of making scrap- 
books, as I am, do cut out or copy 
every account you come across of 
noble conduct, high principle, and 
tender pity. Keep pictures of every 
strong and open countenance, of 
every intellectual and resolute ex- 
pression — these eyes, this chin, that 
forehead. Paste them in "My 
Lover's Book" and spend five min- 
utes in such company each morning. 
Your heart will never go out to any- 
one less worthy than the sort of man 
for whom you have been daily form- 
ing your taste in turning the pages 
of these treasured notes. 

"His Lady-love' ' will be the com- 
panion volume: a scrap-book of 
beautiful, happy, innocent faces, 
womanly clothes, and resolutions for 
your own interior life. These are 
some notes on beauty which I col- 
lected for my own guidance long ago : 



io A Girl's Ideals 

"The most beautiful faces are 
those which suggest the most lovable 
qualities. A girl's real and lasting 
charm lies in the beauty of good 
deeds, of ennobling thoughts, of a 
happy outlook on life. This is a 
beauty which the plain may all 
acquire and the pretty may easily 
miss. 

"The greatest beautifier of the 
face is character. If the intentions, 
motives and aspirations are lofty 
and noble, the plainest face takes on 
a beauty and an interest which would 
be quite lacking in one whose title 
to good looks rested solely on deli- 
cacy of complexion and regularity of 
feature. 

"Let each one seek to make of her- 
self a picture such as the old masters 
loved, in which all the colors tell of 
forbearance, patience, courage, aspir- 
ation, sanctity, and in which, over 



A Girl's Ideals ii 

all, there is the lustre of a Heavenly 
hope." 

How your Angel Guardian, and 
his Angel Guardian, will delight over 
these lily-books! The lily knows 
how to grow, how to achieve per- 
fection — it grows from within. And 
because it does not desire anything 
from the outside world, it gives all 
the colors back. Just so, if you ask 
nothing from the world of pleasure 
and sensation you will be fair in the 
eyes of your beloved; and you may 
confidently look forward with rap- 
turous expectation to a state of 
married bliss, alas! too little be- 
lieved in, and too little known. 

The girl who covets a good man's 
respect, values his esteem, and en- 
deavors to be worthy of his admi- 
ration and preference, will get them. 
But you can't get them if you don't 
seek them, seek them in singleness 
of mind and purity of heart. 



12 A Girl's Ideals 

It has been cynically remarked that 
a man's worst rival is his wife's ideal 
of what he ought to be. But if she 
also has a stringent ideal for her own 
conduct and character, that saves 
the situation. Be like Ursula Hal- 
ifax, who was not a woman to be 
led blindfolded even by her husband. 
Sometimes they differed on minor 
points and talked their differences 
lovingly out; but on any great 
question she had always this safe 
trust in him "that if one was right 
and the other wrong the erring one 
was much more likely to be herself 
than John. " Please take this advice 
very carefully to heart and you, some 
day, will be as happy as they. It 
is just this attitude of mind towards 
"your husband's rival" which will 
secure your husband's peace of mind. 

"It is easier to make the world 
trust one when one is trusted by 



A Girl's Ideals 13 

one's own household," said John 
Halifax; and any man, I feel certain, 
will agree with that. 

Do not think of yourself, do not 
speak of yourself; just live in your 
ideal of what the woman he could love 
must be. You will not flirt, you will 
not try to attract his attention; if 
you behave in such a way as to de- 
serve his admiration, he will bestow 
it upon you. If a girl is nice, a nice 
man is likely to fall in love with her. 
It is not always realized by good 
women that they are just as apt to 
win delightful husbands. Don't let 
it trouble you if some silly acquaint- 
ance remarks that you are trying 
"to be superior. " Your superiority 
will be proved by your being fallen 
in love with by a better man. 
Believe me, the highest charm is the 
" ever- womanly, " and her husband's 
lasting devotion is the ever-wo- 
manly woman's reward. 



14 A Girl's Ideals 

The world needs happy marriages 
— Catholic marriages. Never for a 
moment let the thought of running 
away dwell in your mind. Never 
imagine yourself content with a reg- 
istry-office affair. Remember that 
right-thinking is a science and an 
art. Consider every idle thought 
of this kind as a stumbling block 
which you are wilfully putting in 
the way of the true happiness which 
Almighty God has destined for you. 
In all your reveries your marriage 
must be a Sacrament. Imagine a 
satin dress, a lovely bouquet, a huge 
cake, bridesmaids and wedding 
guests if you like: all very well in 
their way, pretty and suitable ; but 
what you simply must keep ever 
present in your thoughts for your 
Nuptial Mass is the presence of the 
King of Heaven and the Queen of all 
the Angels. 



A Girl's Ideals 15 

It is in your imagining of your 
marriage-guests that I fear you may 
make some mistake. Ladies and 
gentlemen of rank and position are 
doubtless pleasant company for such 
an occasion; but to that Sacrament 
which is to give you grace you must, 
first and foremost, invite that dear 
Woman who was filled with it, and 
her Divine Son Who at her bidding 
will be willing to work a miracle on 
your behalf. 

If He has been with you from the 
start, looking to your husband "as 
to the Lord" will follow easily; and 
you will always consider yourself as 
the altar upon which his homage is 
laid — an offering to the God of Love. 
Your husband will praise, honor and 
love God in you, and your holy con- 
versation will be an evident proof 
that God is ever present in your 
heart. 



1 6 A Girl's Ideals 

What more shall I say? What 
you have already guessed: that you 
may have to wait. And it helps one 
to remember that though five min- 
utes of boiling water will turn the 
centre of a liquid egg into a golden 
ball of yolk, the same amount of 
warmth extended over four weeks 
by a mother hen is necessary to 
convert the same material into a 
real, live chicken. I have taken it 
for granted that your ideals are the 
good, the true, the beautiful — the 
real things. And I who have realized 
my ideal can promise you that you 
will realize yours. I have good 
reason for unlimited faith in the 
efficacy of right thoughts and prayers. 
Your lover will be drawn to you, I 
know, no less by the weight of your 
own personal character than by 
the influence of adventitious circum- 
stances. 



A Girl's Ideals 17 

Don't say, " Perhaps I shall find 
my kindred soul, but maybe he will 
be married to someone else. " No. 
Don't think like that. Choose your 
thoughts. That is not a right 
thought. Such a state of things 
would not be an ideal at all. Those 
are the wrong thoughts which if 
entertained necessitate, or appear 
to necessitate, cheap divorce. The 
right thought is that God rules the 
world and that all things work 
together for good to those who 
utterly love Him. And the very fact 
that He has filled your heart and 
soul with a longing for a good hus- 
band may be taken as a sign that He 
intends to give you one. So go 
on hopefully and happily, dear girl, 
making your lily-books, and the rest 
will follow in due course. The King- 
dom of Love is at hand. 

Have no doubts lest a longing for 



1 8 A Girl's Ideals 

the ideal husband is a thing to be 
ashamed of; nor is it even necessarily 
a subject to make a secret about. 
Yet I. think you will be wiser than I 
was if, without referring to the pearls 
and swine, you treasure your hopes 
in silence for a while. I told every- 
body that I was waiting for my 
kindred soul, and got unmercifully 
chaffed, as I deserved. But that 
afforded my playfellows considerable 
amusement and in no way really 
hurt me ; and when at last he came — 
well, let those laugh who win! But 
you are going to be wiser than I was ; 
so, just for the present, shall we keep 
your hopes a secret — a beautiful 
secret between you and me? 



A Girl's Ideals 19 

II 
The Home 

It is only natural that any girl 
who thinks at all should think some- 
times of the kind of home which she 
would like to have; and if, as years 
go by, you find your ideas of what 
constitutes a perfect environment 
undergoing considerable modifica- 
tion — well, that is natural too. A 
child of eleven once told me that 
when she married and had a house of 
her own she would want " French 
windows, so as to be able to run out 
easily into the garden; lots of barns 
and out-houses to play in on wet 
days; a huge kitchen and an orchard. 

During the following year, when 
she talked the subject over with me 
again, I was surprised to find how 
rapidly her views were expanding. 



20 A Girl's Ideals 

She now wanted: "a bigger house, 
with the kitchen further away; a 
large hall with a huge fireplace and 
great blazing logs of wood; and 
stags' horns and foxes' heads and 
lots of spears and pistols and helmets 
and old armor; and long corridors 
with soft carpets, and all the china 
ornaments on either side shaking as 
you go along (I must say I should 
never have thought this last an 
attraction, should you?) and a great 
wide staircase, and a large porch, 
and very high oak-paneled rooms — 
splendid rooms to give Christmas 
parties in,— and leading off them 
strange cupboards and priests' hiding 
places, and wandering cellars under- 
neath. And out-of-doors a terrace 
walk, a paved terrace with urns on 
the wall ; and broad steps going down 
into the garden; and lovely sundials 
and paved walks with little rock 



A Girl's Ideals 21 

plants growing between the stones; 
and wide borders with every kind 
of old-fashioned herbaceous flowers; 
and fountains; and clipped hedges, 
cut into shapes — birds and things; 
and quantities of lovely green lawns 
kept beautifully short — croquet 
lawns; and two or three jolly sum- 
mer-houses; and big trees, tall pop- 
lars and old elms, and dark cedars 
and weeping trees, with lovely little 
glades between; and gravel walks 
and a long drive up an avenue, and 
very pretty iron front gates. " 

Not bad, that, for a girl of twelve, 
was it? In a few more years she will 
be wanting an Italian castle, k la 
Henry Harland. You remember the 
impression made on Peter Marchdale 
when he went to dine with his Duch- 
essa: "The wide marble staircase, 
up which he was shown, with its 
crimson carpet, and the big mellow 



22 A Girl's Ideals 

painting, looking as if it might be a 
Titian, at the top; the great saloon, 
with its polished mosaic floor, its 
frescoed ceiling, its white iand gold 
paneling, its hangings and uphol- 
steries of yellow brocade, its satin- 
wood chairs and tables, its bronzes, 
porcelaines, embroideries, its screens 
and mirrors; the long dining hall, 
with its high pointed windows, its 
slender marble columns supporting 
a vaulted roof, its twinkling candles 
in chandeliers and sconces of cloudy 
Venetian glass, its brilliant table, 
its flowers and their colors and their 
scents/ ' 

It might seem rather a come-down 
for the young person with these 
magnificent ideas to find herself 
actually doomed to live for many 
years yet in a small square house, 
just like every other small square 
house in the row, with an entrance 



A Girl's Ideals 23 

passage so narrow that it is a squeeze 
to get past the umbrella stand. But 
when you saw the notebook in which 
she jots down her plans you would 
realize that, no matter what her 
present surroundings may be, this 
little lady already has a castle in the 
air. 

A pocket notebook is a capital 
companion for a girl with enthusiasm 
and a seeing eye ; she will soon fill it 
with notes and sketches of bookcases, 
over-mantels, fireplaces, larder shelves 
or bathroom taps. 

When once your interest is thor- 
oughly aroused there seems no end 
to the things which you find yourself 
admiring, appreciating, choosing for 
your own home some day. The 
owner of a pocket notebook pauses 
to study a fireplace shop or a wall- 
paper shop which many another girl 
in walking along the same street 



24 A Girl's Ideals 

would have totally ignored. In 
friends' houses the same rule applies. 
And having cultivated your taste 
for the beautiful your remarks on 
their treasures will be sure to win 
recognition, and other locked up 
gems which otherwise would never 
have been shown to you will be 
brought forth for your delight. 

But all this concerns the outside 
of a house, the mere body of it, and 
of course the spirit of the home is the 
real thing. Writing this in 191 7, I 
think a woman's ideal must be to 
provide a place which will form a 
sweet, pure, happy memory for some 
man in the trenches on the other side 
of the sea. 

Perhaps as yet your share in the 
management of your parents' home 
does not go beyond the arrangement 
of the flowers, but even so your 
loving heart will find many a pretty 



A Girl's Ideals 25 

way of expressing sympathy: a 
fresh rose in a little vase beside the 
snapshot of the young cousin recently 
killed in action; a bunch of violets 
beside the miniature of his broken- 
hearted mother; some lilies of the 
valley around the stiff group photo- 
graph of the family now known to be 
in great anxiety. These are the 
touches which add grace to a home, 
and which are so thankfully remem- 
bered by those who are fighting for 
you thousands of miles away. 

And if as yet you are not quite 
in a position to give free expression 
to all your ideas, I imagine that you 
will be allowed to do pretty much as 
you like in your own bedroom. The 
place where you fall asleep at night 
and awake in the morning must be 
your own especial environment of 
beauty and repose, so planned that 
it may form a powerful aid to your 



26 A Girl's Ideals 

character, your happiness and your 
faith. In a sleeping apartment the 
first requirement is, I think, a badge 
of the Sacred Heart. (Let me, 
please, try to be as persistent as was 
dear St. John the Evangelist, when 
he kept repeating " Little children, 
love one another. ' ' ) You must above 
all things be most careful about 
your good heart, so always, the first 
thing on awaking, salute that of our 
Lord and offer Him your own. A 
holy water font, you will of course 
put near the door, and your crucifix 
will hang in a quiet corner specially 
set apart for prayer and meditation. 
Our Lady's statue will be well in 
evidence as a reminder that you have 
resolved nothing shall ever enter 
your room of which She would not 
approve. Every time your eyes turn 
Her way you will remember that you 
have constituted our Lord's Mother 
your censor. 



A Girl's Ideals .27 

Then there comes your dressing 
table where you turn to the glass 
now and then to see if you are look- 
ing like the sort of girl you want 
to look like. I take it for granted 
that you will do your hair becom- 
ingly and brush it well, and if it is 
not quite so plentiful as you would 
like ask the assistance of St. Mary 
Magdalen. Your teeth and nails 
demand particular and regular atten- 
tion: the temple of the Holy Spirit 
must be kept exquisitely clean — it 
is an act of reverence to respect 
your body. Let the clothes which 
cover it be as simple as possible and 
chosen to suit you ; you cannot help 
having discovered that the prettier 
you are the better you look in quite 
simple attire. But you must put 
your things on well, and fold them up 
carefully when you take them off: 
in this lies more than half the art 
of always appearing well dressed. 



28 A Girl's Ideals 

A chest of drawers crammed full of 
things, all topsy turvy with nothing 
to be found when it is needed, will 
form no part of your ideal of a charm- 
ing girl's surroundings. You know 
that it does require a constant effort 
to be tidy, to have a place for every 
thing and every thing in its place; 
this is not a small matter, and you 
learn and practise much self-control 
over keeping your garments neatly 
folded and your shelves and drawers 
well ordered. When people see your 
room they will exclaim: "This is the 
sort of girl our men are fighting for! 
This is the sort of home which a man 
looks forward to coming back to--— 
and the kind of home which a brave 
man deserves." 

To enjoy possessions they must be 
nicely kept, and the fewer you have 
the more you will enjoy them. For- 
tunately you dust your room your- 



A Girl's Ideals 29 

self, which is so much more sensible 
than paying somebody else to take 
care of a host of little knick-knacks 
for you. I must admit that in 
the days when the under-housemaid 
dusted my bedroom I used to have 
crowds of silly little meaningless 
ornaments stuck about in every 
direction. Thank goodness, poverty 
of spirit has changed all that! You 
belong to a wiser generation and 
your aim is to have only that which 
you know to be useful or believe to 
be beautiful. The three things about 
which I thought perhaps I might 
help you are your pictures, your 
books and your writing-table. 

We all love pictures in our rooms. 
A house does not seem like a home 
without them. One of the first 
things to do in new surroundings, 
when you want to feel comfortably 
settled, is to put up the pictures. 



30 A Girl's Ideals 

Certain pictures accompany you all 
your life through, carrying with 
them, no matter on what strange 
wall they hang, the tender memories 
of the days when they were first 
chosen. That is the secret of a 
picture's worth — that it should be 
deliberately chosen. I do not advise 
you to have many, but I do suggest 
your taking much time and trouble 
to decide on those you do have. You 
need something to elevate your 
thoughts, to raise your heart, to 
refresh your mind. Pictures are 
meant to help our lives and each 
must be placed in its position with a 
definite intention. In choosing you 
will remember that art is a matter 
of reciprocity: the artist has done 
his work the beholder must also 
do his. 

Let us say that you decide on 
three: one to hang opposite your 



A Girl's Ideals 31 

bed, one over the mantel-piece and 
one to pass as you go to the door: 
just enough to meet your eye as you 
enter your room, so that one glance 
around the walls may renew your 
ambitions and resolutions; just 
enough to enable anyone else to see 
the keynote of your life — what you 
stand for. These are your colors 
and you hoist them up because you 
mean to fight for them. 

Your three pictures might be men- 
tally classified as My Master, My 
Best Self, My Work. And when 
you have saved up enough money 
to make your first purchase I should 
advise a reproduction of Ruben's 
masterpiece, "The Descent from the 
Cross. " No one can fail to be struck 
with the boldness of the composition, 
the energy of the characters and the 
effects of the grouping; but to you 
it will appeal more as a symbol of 



32 A Girl's Ideals 

Success — what the world calls failure. 
Humanly speaking, when our Lord's 
dead Body was lifted down from the 
Cross, His mission appeared to be 
ended, His friends disillusioned, and 
His own Heart broken. But you 
know better; and if in serving this 
dear Master you fail to win the 
world's applause, what matter! If 
you aim high and do good work you 
will have succeeded, and you will 
know it when He says, "Well done 
thou good and faithful servant, enter 
thou into the joy of thy Lord." In 
the meantime your picture will assure 
you that it is of no consequence if 
while you live on earth your enter- 
prises appear to come to nothing, if 
your friends fail you and if your 
acquaintances hold your ideals up to 
ridicule. 

To encourage you in spite of 
adverse criticism, to help you to 



A Girl's Ideals 33 

always aim at being your best self, 
you could not do better than choose 
Raphael's "Sistine Madonna " for 
the companion of your pilgrimage. 
I think this picture should have a 
place of honor in every Catholic 
home. When the great artist Watts 
was asked which he considered the 
finest picture in the world he said 
that this successfully embodies the 
best and noblest ideas which can be 
associated with the personality of the 
Madonna. It has the highest intel- 
lectual qualities as well as artistic 
genius. 

Then as an incentive and inspira- 
tion for your daily work you will 
want a picture of the dignity of 
labor, something to remind you that 
real greatness does not lie in doing 
extraordinary things but in doing 
ordinary things extraordinarily well. 
A few years ago I might have been 



34 A Girl's Ideals 

misunderstood had I set forth Mil- 
let's " Gleaners' ' as exemplifying the 
noblest ambition, the highest form 
of service. Now I need say only 
that I expect you are working unusu- 
ally hard, doing all sorts of humble 
little tasks to help others, and you 
will often be very tired, often leave 
off with a backache; and Mil- 
let's beautiful " Gleaners" — even his 
"Angelus" is hardly more religious 
in feeling — will both encourage you 
when you leave your room in the 
morning and strengthen your resolu- 
tions when you retire to rest. 

Then just a word about books. If 
pictures are your lifelong companions, 
so indeed are books. Choose them 
carefully, read them thoroughly and 
mark them well. It took me many 
years to decide whether one should 
or should not mark the passages 
which particularly appeal to one, 



A Girl's Ideals 35 

and I have decided that one should 
— especially in spiritual books. In 
times of dryness the parts which have 
impressed you before will be just 
what you need to refresh your mem- 
ory and reawaken your interest in 
Heavenly truths. So please mark 
well all your devotional books, 
making them ready to turn to when 
your dull, dry, cold times come and 
your spirit flags. Alas ! these times 
come to us all and we need a rem- 
edy in our bookcases. Have also a 
poetry shelf and read a little poetry 
every day. Have any other books 
of interest that you like, in any line 
that especially appeals to you, but 
keep one corner for bright, pleasant, 
happy, amusing books and make a 
point of collecting a few of those too 
rare, delightful ones which you can 
take out when you have a cold and 
laugh over again and again. Also, 



36 A Girl's Ideals 

in a home, when other people feel 
dumpy it is a splendid plan to read 
a funny book aloud. 

And as a home generally implies a 
family and a family must be bound 
and drawn together by the love and 
sympathy of the mistress of the 
household, I want you to pay partic- 
ular attention to your writing table. 
Correspondence, as yet, may not 
seem to form a very important part 
of your daily routine, but I think 
every girl should prepare for the 
time when as a woman she will sit 
before a large sheet of white paper 
and with the magic of her pen call 
forth memories of happiness and 
peace for the absent members of her 
family circle. The pen is the only 
weapon I know of which can utterly 
break down the barriers of distance. 
Lines of ink form a strong net in 
which to draw together a scattered 
family. 



A Girl's Ideals 37 

Ah, those letters from home! "It 
sounds like Heaven !" should be the 
exclamation of the recipient on the 
other side of the world. But it is 
not easy to write them, or perhaps I 
should say to think them out. You 
have to practise for years what not to 
commit to paper; there must be no 
record of what is unkind, unpleasant, 
or ugly or wrong. You must learn to 
treasure up every scrap of good news : 
a friendly act, a neighborly kindness, 
a providential escape, someone's good 
fortune, some delightful story, some 
amusing little incident. Writing a 
good letter is not an easy thing to do, 
so please make a few rules now for 
your guidance and never swerve 
from them. 

The most beautiful home is that 
where the mistress herself wants very 
little; only, in fact, opportunities 
for generosity and hospitality, a 



38 A Girl's Ideals 

reposeful background for a gracious 
presence, a presence which suggests 
to her guests, " Behold the hand- 
maid of the Lord." 

Some day, dear, you will have such 
an ideal home of your own, and I 
hope you will ask me to come to see it. 
Of course I shall not be able to come, 
but I shall be pleased to think that 
you want to show it to me. 



Ill 

Children 

It is difficult for me to write this 
article for you as I had intended. 
Quite suddenly a young mother and 
her four tiny children have fled 
to me from North London, terrified 
by air-raids. Such lovely children! 
aged two and three and four and five. 

Baby, just able to stand without 



A Girl's Ideals 39 

assistance and walk across the room, 
instantly lost her heart to Ludlow's 
famous white terrier toy; and had 
anyone ever doubted whether it was 
worth while to establish a local toy- 
factory this little visitor's early morn- 
ing shout for " Doggie" would have 
been sufficient assurance that the 
work turned out is a success. 

Twinkle — whose pet name every- 
body understands directly they see 
him smile — is absolutely happy 
marching round and round the table 
where I write, dressed up in a cocked 
hat made out of an old newspaper 
and beating a tin can for a drum. 

Sonny builds me a railway station 
with bricks upon the window ledge, 
and blows his whistle and runs trains 
up and down incessantly in the most 
obliging manner until such time as I 
shall be ready to catch one. 

Dear little Sister, feeling very 



40 A Girl's Ideals 

nearly grown up at the tremendous 
age of five, clears away tea-things, 
dries cups and saucers and plates 
without breaking them, and puts 
them away most conscientiously in 
their right places. She also helps 
me by stirring the soup which is 
boiling over the fire and seeing that 
it does not burn. She whips the 
eggs for custard and grates nutmeg 
on the top of the milk pudding. So 
far the domestic arrangements are 
felt to be safe in her hands. The 
rest of the nursery party evince no 
interest in the cooking until it comes 
to the opening of the oven door and 
the going in of the dinner. Then, 
so charmed are all the children by 
the last item of our recipe, that each 
in turn comes up to make the sign of 
the cross over the dish and say, "God 
bless our little pudding !" Twinkle 
insists that even Baby must put 



A Girl's Ideals 41 

down her Doggie for a moment and 
toddle up to perform her share in 
this mystic rite. 

No, it isn't difficult to prepare 
a meal when surrounded by such 
sweet, happy children, beautiful alike 
in face and character — though it 
may be a little difficult to write. 

Only occasionally difficulties over 
third helpings and not quite enough 
jam to go all round again lead to a 
flow of tears. But then, what can 
you expect when the united ages of 
the four diners total fourteen ! 

As an infallible remedy for greedi- 
ness the Crucifix which hangs oppo- 
site my own place at table greatly 
interests the children. They take it 
in turns to sit beside me at meals 
and have a little crust of bread 
broken into five pieces, while they 
meditate upon the "Book of the 
Saints' ' before them. Even Twinkle 



42 A Girl's Ideals 

eats slowly, wonderingly, while that 
great mystery is explained : 

" Think of the dear right Hand 
stretched out to bless, the Hand 
that blessed little children. Always 
remember that He will bless your 
food if you ask Him ; and no matter 
whether it is particularly nice or not, 
if He blesses it it is certain to do you 
good. You don't like it! Look at 
His left Hand; see the cruel nail. 
Could He have liked to bear such 
dreadful pain? Was it pleasant to 
have His flesh pierced? Think, 
when you see His bleeding Hands, 
what His suffering must have been, 
and then you will be ashamed ever 
to say that you don't like the taste of 
cabbage. 

"And then look at His dear Feet 
nailed to the wood of the Cross. 
Did He want to be so still ? Wouldn' t 
He have preferred to move freely 



A Girl's Ideals 43 

about? Surely you will not fidget 
in your chair and kick your feet 
against the table leg and try to get 
down before the proper time. 

" And look at His Heart. He gave 
everything, all that He had. He 
kept nothing at all for Himself. 
That is why you are going to give 
up the best bits to other people, 
because you want to try to be like 
Him; because you do so very much 
admire and love Our Lord." 

This is the way the children are 
learning to read "The Book of the 
Saints/ ' None of them, I am glad 
to say, have yet learned to read from 
any other book. 

As for tumbles in the garden, 
bruises and bumps and scratches, 
they are instantly remedied by run- 
ning to Our Lady's Bower. The 
pleasure of picking huge sprays of 
Michaelmas daisies on the way and 



44 A Girl's Ideals 

arranging them in two vases on 
either side the statue as an offering 
to Mother Mary, completely obliter- 
ates the memory of some slight disas- 
ter. I almost think the children are 
getting to tumble down for the fun 
of the thing and the hurried joy of 
the remedy. 

None of us are perfect, and if some- 
times on wet days quick tempers 
are aroused during an over-hasty 
exchange of playthings, peace is 
restored by the mother's making 
each struggling, howling child pause 
a moment to repeat the Name of 
Jesus. Perhaps the nuns who taught 
her to control her own tempes- 
tuous nature, not so many years 
ago, may have adopted the same 
expedient. Already the beneficent 
effects of the Holy Name have 
become a fixed tradition in her own 
small family. And if, as they say 



A Girl's Ideals 45 

they hope, there should be a new 
arrival every twelve months for the 
next ten years, and should there be 
many a childish altercation over 
desirable acquisitions, Sister will al- 
ways know at once how to admin- 
ister relief and calm the storms of 
nursery passion. 

But to desire ten more babies! 
Isn't it wonderful? Only seven years 
ago I had known this lady as a listless, 
delicate girl, not expected to live and 
certainly not expected to become 
the mother of happy, rosy, shock- 
headed children. It was not even 
observed in those days that she was 
particularly interested in little people. 
I got her to tell me, just to satisfy my 
curiosity, how it was that the thought 
of life and vigor and the joy of child- 
hood had come to her. 

" Quite suddenly," she said, "one 
glorious, sunny day early in spring, — 



46 A Girl's Ideals 

the sort of day that makes you feel 
like that. I was staying in a small, 
picturesque town on the South Coast. 
The sea was like a mill-pond, and as 
I walked along the Front I noticed 
a little knot of children on the beach 
throwing stones into the water, seeing 
which could make the biggest whirl. 
That was what first made me think 
of children. Then my eye was 
caught by a bright blue jumper dress, 
white socks with blue tops to match 
the jumper, and strap shoes flying 
like the wind — a little thing was 
tearing towards me at a breakneck 
pace, bowling a hoop much larger 
than herself. She was laughing. 
She had glittering eyes and very rosy 
cheeks and a little dumpling, round 
face, no hat, and a shock — oh! but 
a shock of hair — which bobbed up 
and down as she ran. 

"With a shriek of laughter she 



A Girl's Ideals 47 

dashed into me and the hoop went 
over the edge of the parade, down 
onto the beach. To save her from 
falling I had to lift her up in my arms 
and a thrill went through me at the 
feel of this little enthusiastic creature. 
The joy of living seemed to pass from 
her into me. I longed to possess 
anything so filled with innocent 
vitality and happiness. She gasped 
when I put her down. She was a real 
darling. I felt that if I had a child, 
this sort of child would be a life-long 
happiness to me. Soon afterwards 
my lover proposed and I accepted 
him. So that is the story of Sister, 
and Sonny, and Twinkle and Baby, 
and that is the reason why I want 
ten more.'' 

I said I understood. If four are so 
delightful what would fourteen be! 
And I hope you understand how it is. 

I have not quite had time to write 



48 A Girl's Ideals 

what I intended. I meant to ask 
you, while you are still in your teens, 
to think out for yourself the whole 
subject of children's education and 
management. It would be wise, I 
think, if every girl planned out a 
system of bringing up before she has 
forgotten what it feels like to be 
twelve years old. Judging by my 
own experience I should say that for 
every ten women who can satisfac- 
torily bring up little children, there 
is scarcely one who makes a success 
of her management of the girl of 
twelve. A very loose rein indeed is 
my own idea, after a very tight, strict, 
even narrow early preparation. For 
a year or two the twelve-year-old 
may feel intensely important, inven- 
tive, intolerant, difficult to herself 
and difficult to everybody else; but 
if her up-bringing till twelve has been 
thoroughly sound, give her her head, 



A Girl's Ideals 49 

say I, and she will carry the whole 
thing through with flying colors. 

Map out her hours, if you like — 
nine to ten, Latin and French; ten 
to eleven, drawing and composition; 
eleven to twelve, piano and violin. 
But leave her absolutely free to 
choose which French or Latin exer- 
cise she is going to translate that day ; 
let her decide for herself what she 
will draw and what is to be the 
subject of her composition; let her 
search amongst her music for the 
composer whose work she will like 
to study. This system (which of 
course applies to home lessons and 
especially to the case of an only 
child), enables a girl to take more 
interest in her work besides inculcat- 
ing a sense of personal responsibility 
which will be valuable in after life. 

Once upon a time I knew some 
delightful, motherless girls, brought 



50 A Girl's Ideals 

up by a governess at home in the old- 
fashioned way, who used to dress up 
when they went to bed and try to 
look like third-rate actresses. It 
seemed so funny at the time that I 
used to sit and laugh and laugh until 
remonstrances were sent up from the 
drawing-room: "The children ought 
to be in bed and asleep.' ' But when 
these three girls grew up and came 
out and chose their own clothes, the 
old ambition still dominated them — 
they still tried to look like third-rate 
actresses, and it was admitted by 
everybody who knew them that they 
succeeded uncommonly well; but it 
no longer made anybody laugh, and 
it made me cry. 

However, this is only by the way 
and just to prove that you should 
provide a healthy outlet for the 
spirit and energy of young people. 
If those motherless girls had been 



A Girl's Ideals 51 

allowed to give their fancy free play 
over their lessons and other desirable 
subjects, their powers of imagination 
would not have been lavished upon 
dressing up after the day was done. 
What do you think? I must admit 
I did not imitate this snaffle-bridle 
plan. It was a girl of twelve, her- 
self, who vehemently explained it to 
me as the only right one. (She had 
had no opportunity of going to 
school.) Every other arrangement, 
she declared, fretted and worried her 
and made her lose her temper — she 
is a bit of a genius — and having been 
"let alone' ' myself when I was young 
I sympathized. It struck me as an 
excellent plan to study the question 
of how children should be managed 
while you are yourself a child, so I 
asked her to jot down a few of her 
impressions for me. 

11 Let girls run wild as much as pos- 



52 A Girl's Ideals 

sible. Don't keep them as nurses 
do, forcing them to wear gloves in 
summer. Let them go about bare- 
foot in the garden and eat as many 
blackberries as they like. It won't 
give them any pain, as the nurse 
imagines. Let them have a cer- 
tain amount of unripe gooseberries 
and green apples, because children 
think them delicious. They don't 
taste acid to them. Let them climb 
trees and paddle in the river through 
the summer — paddle and bathe. 
They won't catch cold. Never let 
them be idle, not knowing what to 
do. On wet days teach them to 
cut out pictures and color them 
and stick them on brown paper and 
make scrap-books. Encourage them 
to draw. 

"When they are older, boys and 
girls very often get a craving for 
making things; well, let them, 



A Girl's Ideals 53 

whether it be a cubby-house in the 
garden or a doll's house made out of 
old boxes, with match-box furniture. 
Don't have too many carpets and 
nice things about the room and then 
scold if anything gets soiled. Teach 
them to take a pleasure in keeping 
the house nice and the garden neat. 
Make their lessons pleasant and 
easy. While they are young ten 
minutes for each subject is quite 
enough. Let the whole of the day 
be mapped out — certain times for 
everything. Always take care what 
sort of books you give your child; 
and choose for playmates children 
with nice, open faces. That's about 
all, I think." 

What do you think? Perhaps you 
will jot down your ideas also and 
compare notes. 



54 A Girl's Ideals 

IV 

Motherhood 

Perhaps not until you have a child 
of your own can you really appreciate 
your own mother — her unselfishness, 
her patience. It is as she bends over 
the cradle of her first baby that a 
woman begins to realize all that 
motherhood implies: its power, its 
responsibility. She no longer then 
regards her own mother as "old- 
fashioned"; she forgets the restric- 
tions which she used to find so irk- 
some; every other consideration and 
remembrance is overwhelmed in the 
thought that her mother once held 
her in her arms as a baby — as 
she is now holding her own child. 
And she exclaims, half involuntarily, 
"What a good woman my mother 
was!" 



A Girl's Ideals 55 

Napoleon is often credited with 
saying, "What France wants is 
good mothers/ ' What every country 
wants is good mothers. If there 
were more Saint Monicas there would 
be more Saint Augustines. Much 
as one admires Monica's philosoph- 
ical argument and her great tact 
with her friends, one cannot fail to 
see that her maternal heart was her 
greatest talent and the one which 
was most splendidly used. People 
often wonder how it was — humanly 
speaking — that Saint Augustine be- 
came a Catholic. I have no doubt 
that it was due to his very early 
training, to the bias which his baby 
mind received at his mother's knee. 
You must never forget that the 
forming of a child's character begins 
in its mother's arms and that the 
first duty of a mother is a religious 
one — to give love. It might almost 



56 A Girl's Ideals 

be said that her duty begins and ends 
there, that all other duties are in- 
cluded in that. Yet hope is also 
truly said to be a mother's special 
gift, persevering beyond all patience, 
beyond all reason, believing in the 
impossible and so obtaining the 
impossible; a hope which can fasten 
on the slightest sign of good and 
develop it, which expects something 
from every one and finds the results 
are in proportion to the expectations. 
I remember a mother of seven 
daughters, of whom it was said that 
all their lives she believed her geese 
were swans! But wasn't it brave of 
her to go on hoping for them and 
believing in them after they had all 
grown up? For though it may be 
easy to credit little children with 
all sorts of lovely possibilities, it is 
a hard task to go on believing in 
them, in spite of all appearances to 



A Girl's Ideals 57 

the contrary, when a family has 
finished passing through its teens. 

Yet the joyous faith of the mother 
must win in the end. So let her 
start out hopefully, with the fixed 
belief that there is nothing more 
delightful than religion. A jolly 
young mother who can tell funny 
little stories concerning Heavenly 
things — which is easy enough if one 
really believes in God — will find her 
children sitting around her, listening 
entranced to spiritual instruction. 
Even a few moments spent in silence, 
with closed eyes and folded arms, is 
not toa difficult to manage, provided 
the children are started off upon 
their spiritual adventure with some 
such story as that of the silly little 
fish who could not find the sea. 
After its wanderings and its question- 
ings it came at last upon a wise old 
fish who knew the answer; and the 



58 A Girl's Ideals 

answer was, " You are in it!" Of 
course this is an Eastern story. I 
believe we could learn a good deal 
from the Eastern system of religious 
education. Why should all the im- 
pressions received by our young 
people come to them through the 
senses? Why should not we also 
have rows of little children sitting 
quietly, for a quarter of an hour at a 
time, meditating on the Ocean of 
God's Love? 

Perhaps we sometimes forget that 
the material world does not mean in 
the least the same thing to children 
that it does to us. They are living 
in a world apart. In their self- 
arranged games they always leave 
more than half to the imagination. 
Their choice of an environment 
would be some sort of lovely, ethe- 
real place where fancy could dance 
freely to and fro. That is their 



A Girl's Ideals 59 

natural heritage. Don't let us rob 
them of it. Each newcomer into 
this world of ours might do it so 
much more good if only custom did 
not at once step in and steal away 
the wisdom which had just been 
brought down. 

In early life the capacity for belief 
is very strong. " Children are living 
poems/ ' sings the poet. And the 
first stanza belongs to their mother, 
say I, a stanza of three short lines: 
look up; go on; think about our 
Lord — the epitome of everything 
which in after life anyone is likely 
to need: inspiration for action, per- 
severance in effort, consolation in 
time of trouble. During its very 
earliest days I would have the mother 
set herself deliberately to teach her 
baby where to look, where to go, 
and what to think about; encour- 
aging from the start the happy bias 
of the infant's mind. 



60 A Girl's Ideals 

"Look up," she will say. "There 
is a lark singing its praises at Heav- 
en's gate! Look up! There is a 
poplar tree, so tall, so tall, and far 
below, hidden in the earth, the roots 
go down to keep it safe and steady; 
we cannot see them, but they give 
the tree its strength. Look up! 
There are the telegraph-posts with 
wires taking kind messages to people 
far away. Daddy sends his love to 
Baby along those wires and Baby 
can stand still, shut eyes, draw a deep 
breath, and send off love to Daddy 
without any wires; the ether waves 
will carry it; see the pattern of their 
lines and dots! Those are our very 
own to use to make other people 
happy." A child loves to trace in 
the air that kingdom of beauty and 
power and wonderful design. 

For "Go on," the mother herself 
will be always looking forward, treat- 



A Girl's Ideals 6i 

ing hope as a duty, noticing the 
roads, the hedges, the walls, the rail- 
way lines; explaining to her child 
that if one wishes to reach a given 
point the best way is to go straight 
there. She will not waste time find- 
ing fault with her servants, or talking 
disparagingly about her friends; she 
will go straight on to God, the God 
who is Love, and her whole household 
will march not far behind. 

The way in which she thinks about 
Our Lord will be such that no one 
can be long in her company and fail 
to interpret humanity as she does: 
Christ "means your neighbor, not 
the poor only, but any one you meet 
who can be helped by you. To the 
cottage-hospital, the work-house in- 
firmary, the hovel and the hall, she 
will take her children, carrying some 
extra fine fruit or some very special 
flowers. And following her example 



62 A Girl's Ideals 

they will soon learn to sacrifice a 
treasured toy in gratitude to the dear 
Lord Who during His earthly life 
suffered so much for them. 

Later on, with vigor and con- 
stancy, the mother can develop these 
life-lessons both in herself and in the 
little souls which have been en- 
trusted to her care, knowing that 
it is useless to try to inculcate lofty 
aspirations in others unless she has 
first made them her own. Her 
joyous, elevated mind will give the 
right tone to the nursery on wet 
days, to the windy, perambulator 
walks, and to the sunny picnics in 
the bluebell wood. 

"It's the nice rain making the 
grass grow for the cows to eat!" and 
"It's the good, strong wind blowing 
the measles away and making the 
whole earth sweet and clean!" 

Reverently, tenderly, the mother 



A Girl's Ideals 63 

can unfold the mysteries of life and 
death, showing the poppy folded in 
the bud; drawing attention to the 
baby chickens under the old hen's 
wing; remembering that even (ac- 
cording to Pat Howard) an earwig 
may be regarded as a mother. She 
can inculcate an appreciation of 
life while speaking freely and hap- 
pily about death and the dead. She 
will treat her children's bodies with 
respect and exact from these chil- 
dren a respect for all living things. 

The character of a child may be 
formed, I believe, entirely by the 
intention of the mother. What she 
expects it to be, it will be; or if not, 
I am inclined to ask, was her will 
sufficiently supported by her prayers? 
Oh, those prayers beside the little cot 
at night when on one side of the bars 
lies an apparently unconscious baby, 
rosy, fat and warm, and on the other 



64 A Girl's Ideals 

side kneels a tired woman, loving, 
silent and absorbed ! No wonder it 
is said that great men had good 
mothers ! 

A holy man from the north of 
India tells me how in his country the 
mothers trust almost entirely to the 
effect of prayers said over their 
sleeping children during the night. 
For correcting faults, for overcoming 
hereditary difficulties and troubles, 
for obtaining needful qualities, prayer 
is their one weapon, their sole rem- 
edy — prayer while the child sleeps 
and the world is still. Some day, 
dear, if you have the happiness to 
become a mother let this happy so- 
licitude be yours also. 



A Girl's Ideals 65 

V 

Work 

"Get a hustle on," is what many 
people will say to you when you are 
about to undertake some important 
work, but your own ideal of deliber- 
ation, love and the glory of God is 
the right one. It is the only certain 
way in which to ensure your work 
becoming a real and lasting success. 
Brother John Ximenes is a safe com- 
panion with whom to climb the 
ladder of life. When worldly people 
tell you that you will never succeed 
unless you hurry, just turn to that 
excellent religious and listen to what 
he says about haste. Another lay- 
Brother, noted for his incessant 
bustle and want of recollection, 
ridiculed the leisurely way in which 
Brother Ximenes went about his 



66 A Girl's Ideals 

employment, saying, "I can run up 
and down stairs half a dozen times 
while you are going only once." 

"But, dearest Brother," answered 
Ximenes, "when I go up stairs I go 
in company with Our Lord on His 
flight into Egypt; and when I come 
down I accompany the Holy Family 
back to Nazareth. I do this that I 
may serve them on their way, and 
I never found my work hindered by 
my leisurely way of walking." This 
means, I take it, that it matters so 
very much more what you are than 
what you do. Being is an interior 
way of doing, and a far more certain 
method of accomplishing good work. 
You do quite as much, probably 
more, only you do it without any 
anxiety or strain or doubts or fuss. 

When you begin to retire within 
yourself, push and vim lose their 
dazzling qualities. After all, they 



A Girl's Ideals 67 

are only so much energy of the flesh, 
with a corresponding diminution of 
spiritual power. No power is com- 
parable to that of a soul unified in 
the vision, love and seeking of God. 
The soul which is dispersed and 
divided amid the thousand anxieties 
of the senses consumes its powers in 
detail and wastes them. It is be- 
cause you realize this that you have 
set your face towards duty and per- 
fection. 

In impetuosity and hurry there is 
always much of nature and conse- 
quently of self. Without a certain 
degree of deliberateness in your ac- 
tions you cannot infuse into them 
either love or purity of intention. 

Yet if in spite of all your good 
resolutions (because you are human), 
sometimes you do get troubled and 
distressed and lose your peace of 
mind when employed in corporal 



68 A Girl's Ideals 

exercise, don't be too eager to go on 
or strive too hard to get the work 
finished in a set time. Just proceed 
calmly and moderately, reflecting 
that it is your principal affair to have 
God always with great tranquility 
before your eyes, with little regard 
to give content to any but Him. If 
you allow any other consideration 
to mingle and insinuate itself, you 
will soon perceive the storm and 
disquiet it will raise in your soul. 

The ideal worker is absolutely 
indifferent as to herself and to all 
creatures and events, so that her 
soul may transcend all and live in 
God alone, not being concerned with 
any other thing besides. 

After deliberation comes magnan- 
imity, generosity, the love which 
envieth not. This is love in compe- 
tition with others. Whenever you 
attempt a good work you will find 



A Girl's Ideals 69 

other people doing the same kind of 
work, and possibly doing it better 
that you can. But you must not 
envy them. Envy is described as a 
feeling of ill-will towards those who 
are in the same line as ourselves, a 
spirit of covetousness and detraction. 
You will find, alas! that even Chris- 
tian work is no guarantee against 
un-Christian feelings. On the thresh- 
old of every noble work this most 
ignoble mood will assuredly await 
you unless you are fortified with the 
grace of magnanimity. Remember, 
there is only one thing you need 
envy: the large, rich, generous soul 
which envieth not. 

It is the doctrine of the Saints that 
the more painful and laborious any 
office, the more generous are the 
virtues which it produces in the soul. 
Seneca taught that the heart renders 
little services great and the meanest 



70 A Girl's Ideals 

illustrious, when they are not merely 
well done but done out of love and 
with pleasure. It is the personal 
qualities which your career displays 
which will render the condition of 
your career heroic. It is not nec- 
essary that the cause for which you 
strive and suffer should be one raised 
high in the sight of others ; nor need 
your outward efforts be on a scale 
from which ordinary girls might 
shrink; nor need your actions come 
under the full blaze of the sun at 
noonday. It is the mind which 
must show itself strenuous, the soul 
which must prove itself strong. 

Integrity, thoroughness, honesty, 
accuracy, conscientiousness, faithful- 
ness, patience: these are the unseen 
things which go to make your char- 
acter and which are woven into it by 
work. 

If you are strong, vigorous, hopeful, 



A Girl's Ideals 71 

joyous, then you will be disseminat- 
ing strength and vigor, hope and joy, 
wherever you go. But if, on the 
contrary, you were to allow yourself 
to become depressed and timid, anx- 
ious and morbid, then you would be 
infecting the moral atmosphere with 
insidious germs of fear and misery 
and doubt and despair. Think of 
your thoughts as seeds scattered 
broadcast, and make certain they are 
flower seeds — not weeds. 

Be pleasant, amiable, adaptable. 
Become proficient in the art of cour- 
tesy and gentle yielding. Have a 
gracious and a charming manner 
towards your fellow workers, a ready 
and sympathetic tact. On this the 
happiness of those with whom you 
come in daily contact will so very 
much depend. 

Perhaps one of the hardest things 
about work is to do it in somebody 



72 A Girl's Ideals 

else's way. However difficult a thing 
may be you feel you can manage it in 
your own fashion; but it tries your 
temper and quenches your enthu- 
siasm and seems certain to end in 
disaster, if you are obliged to carry 
it out according to the rules which 
another — perhaps less qualified — per- 
son has laid down. But you will 
do it, I know, and in conquering 
your pride — justifiable pride, very 
likely — you will add such a merit 
and a lustre to the work in hand 
that even you will be surprised at 
the way in which it turns out. 
You succeed with prayers and kind 
thoughts and little acts of humilia- 
tion not merely in the taking of a 
thing from one place and putting it 
in another. After all, from the mere 
material point of view, that is what 
all work amounts to — just moving 
things from one place to another! 



A Girl's Ideals 73 

So it does not really matter what it is. 
Whatever it is, you can undertake 
it with hopeful effort and try to do 
it well. If you do well whatever 
work your hands find to do, you will 
be offering Almighty God an agree- 
able sacrifice of praise. 

Of course none of this is original. 
These are all just ideas on the spirit 
of work which I have been collecting 
for many years, mostly from the 
writings of the Saints; but I repeat 
it for your benefit because we are all 
in danger, especially nowadays, of 
attempting to do too much and of 
getting too eager and anxious about 
the mere result of our undertakings; 
whereas we must try to remember 
that it does not matter where our 
work is or what our work is. The 
only really important thing is the 
spirit in which it is done. 

It is possible to drop into merely 



74 A Girl's Ideals 

material preoccupation in the strug- 
gle for existence; but it is also pos- 
sible not to do so. The difference 
lies in having an ideal. 



VI 

Prayer 

Although I have called your other 
five ideals by five other names, you 
will have noticed that whether it be 
a lover, or home, or children, or 
mother, or work, everything in your 
whole life really amounts to the same 
thing: the raising up of your heart 
and mind to God. I call this 
last paper, " Prayer' ' — meaning the 
happy mystic state of union with 
Our Lord — because I think that, 
having begun with the earthly lover, 
you will like me to end with the 
Heavenly Bridegroom. 



A Girl's Ideals 75 

As you grow older, perhaps at 
special times when your soul is with- 
drawn from the world, there will 
come moments and periods of prayer 
in which you will entirely forget 
yourself have no self-interest, ask 
for nothing, and cling to God purely 
for His own sake. The business and 
pleasures of this world may no longer 
seem worthy to engross your atten- 
tion, and a developing sense of unity 
with Our Lord, of complete surrender 
to His Holy Will, may give to your 
soul that repose which is the basis 
of all true activity — a repose which 
forms the foundation for new expend- 
iture of power and is also the oppor- 
tunity for Our Lord to give you a 
greater increase of His Divine Grace : 
like a kind of rhythmic measure, a 
flow and return of desire and bless- 
ing — the indication of your Master's 
wishes and your own unhesitating 
response. 



76 A Girl's Ideals 

Whether as an isolated experience 
or as one which lasts over a long 
period, this is a blessed time, a state 
of great and unutterable calm. It 
is then that you may hear in your 
heart a Voice calling you: "If you 
will be perfect, come." The gift of 
a religious vocation, with all that it 
implies, may seem clear before you: 
an opportunity to live upon a higher 
level, to correspond to a special 
grace, to become more dear to the 
loving Heart of Christ. To be His 
Spouse in a special sense you are 
ready to sacrifice all — even yourself 
— for Him. You do indeed desire 
to be "blessed, consecrated and 
affianced to Our Lord Jesus Christ, 
the Son of the Most High God," 
to be numbered among those stately, 
stainless lilies in the garden of the 
Beloved, lilies whose only aim is to 
delight their King with their beauty 
and their sweetness. 



A Girl's Ideals 77 

Worldly people may tell you that 
such flowers serve no useful purpose. 
Our lot is cast with a generation that 
idolizes physical action and activity, 
but spiritual activity and enterprise 
are never popular. You have to 
pass over all creatures, with a further 
tendence to God. At first your will 
is obliged with violence to untwine 
and withdraw its adhesion from 
creatures that it may elevate itself 
and become firmly fixed on its only 
good. There is no doubt that prayer 
is a spiritual discipline — but oh, 
what joy when your soul is once 
fully intent on God, gazing and 
loving ! 

"To speak heart to heart with 
God, you must delight to be with 
Him alone/ ' saint St. Peter Celes- 
tine. I hope you love "San Celes- 
tino." It is one of my favorite 
books. And do you remember Guito, 



78 A Girl's Ideals 

his friend who at first so loved 
the visible world of mountains and 
plains and valleys, of sapphire sea 
and opal cloud, of secret- telling 
woods and sedgy meadows by flat 
streams, of flowers and winds, sun- 
rise and noon, sunset and sweet 
night? Who, in a way, loved God 
for making all these things, but not 
for Himself, — prizing the lesser gifts 
more than the greater Giver? 

Then suddenly the detail of crea- 
tion no longer contented him. He 
aimed at a loftier possession and he 
knew, at last, that he would be 
satisfied with nothing short of the 
Creator. The outward beauty of 
God's intimations of Himself would 
never again feed his hunger for love- 
liness; he must have the inward and 
infinite beauty of which these things 
only hinted. He perceived that even 
the sense can never be satisfied with 



A Girl's Ideals 79 

that which appeals to it: "the eye 
is not filled with seeing, nor the ear 
with hearing,' ' the sense being only 
a small part of awakened apprehen- 
sion. That which lies behind crea- 
tion must be infinitely more lovely 
than any item or all the items of 
creation: its loveliness is not un- 
veiled or appreciable by the easy 
channels of sense. In order to pos- 
sess God, Guito at length under- 
stood that he must cease to possess 
himself; or rather, that until he had 
finally arrived at the possession of 
God, he would never, in fact, possess 
himself. I quote from memory. He 
felt, as you do, as all the saints have 
done, "except Jesus, and all that 
comes from Him or leads to Him, 
I wish for nothing on earth." 

What a wonderful thing is the 
loving soul's indifference to all the 
world, except in direct reference to 



80 A Girl's Ideals 

the love of God ! You realize experi- 
mentally that this infinite ocean of 
love is pressing all around your heart 
to break into it and make it su- 
premely happy. In such a state of 
mental prayer, you dispense to a 
very great extent with the use of 
sensible images or pictures in the 
mind. Instead of pictures, your soul 
seems over-shadowed by a spreading, 
silent sense as of something near at 
hand, vague in outline, colorless and 
dim ; such a sense as might fall upon 
one who watches intently some dark 
curtain which hides a marvelous 
presence. 

Long ago you may have had times 
of spiritual anguish when you cried, 
4 'Oh, that I knew where I might find 
Him!" Now you are no longer 
searching for the Divine Lover. You 
have found Him, and you know 
where you may always find Him! 



A Girl's Ideals 8i 

on the cross. You often say to your- 
self, " Jesus, my Love, is crucified.' ' 
And your only real desire is to be 
nailed to the cross with Him. Hence- 
forth you intend your life to be one 
long sacrifice for His sake — one long 
restraint. Your hands are vowed to 
His service, to be occupied only with 
work for Him. Your feet are bound 
to go only on His errands, errands of 
mercy and faith. Your heart is 
allowed to love no one except for His 
sake, and for His sake it must love 
everybody. 

Your supreme resolution is to give 
yourself unreservedly to God, and 
like St. Gerard Majella you endeavor 
to have continually before your eyes 
this motto, "Be thou deaf, blind, 
and mute." Circumstances may or 
may not enable you to enter some 
religious order, but wherever you 
dwell you are determined to be your 



82 A Girl's Ideals 

Master's faithful companion, even 
to watch and wait with Him, a 
prisoner of love. 

Let us end with the beautiful 
prayer which was recited daily by a 
royal prisoner and was long supposed 
to have been composed by her, until 
in a manuscript book belonging to 
the Duchess de la Rochefoucauld 
a copy was discovered, inscribed, 
" Prayer composed by the Bishop of 
Beauvais, and which Madame Eliza- 
beth, sister of Louis XVI, recited 
every day." 

"I do not know what will happen 
to me today, O my God. All I 
know is that nothing will happen 
to me but what You have foreseen 
from all eternity. That is sufficient, 
O my God, to keep me in peace. I 
adore Your infinite designs. I sub- 
mit to them with all my heart. I 
desire them all: I accept them all. 



A Girl's Ideals 83 

I make the sacrifice to You of every- 
thing. I unite this sacrifice to that 
of Your dear Son, my Saviour, beg- 
ging You by His Sacred Heart and 
by His infinite merits for the patience 
in my troubles and the perfect sub- 
mission which is due to You in all 
that You wish and permit. Amen." 
May such a holy life and happy 
death — you remember the odor of 
roses which was diffused over the 
Place Louis X V at the moment of her 
execution, and the little silver medal 
of the Immaculate Conception, and 
the small key which she wore round 
her neck on a silk cord? — may such 
a happy death, I say, be yours, as 
that of the gentle, loving, patient 
and resigned Madame Elizabeth of 
France. And may we all meet before 
long in the Kingdom of God, where 
our poor faltering ideals will have 
become His glorious realities, and 



84 A Girl's Ideals 

where a great reward will be meted 
out to us for having cherished 
them — no matter how faultily we 
managed to live up to our ideals. 
Then all the little trials and tribula- 
tions we may be going through now 
will be entirely forgotten, and we 
shall find ourselves safe, happy, 
laved, for all Eternity in that Heart 
where our thoughts and desires al- 
ready find their resting place — the 
Sacred Heart of Christ. 



CATHOLIC GIRLHOOD 
Rev. William Kitchin, Ph.D. 

At the close of each scholastic 
year pupils return home from a 
thousand convent schools to begin 
life's work. A few, blessed by God 
with a religious vocation, go back 
to their Alma Mater after an interval 
to impart to others the lessons they 
themselves learned, or they devote 
themselves in hospitals to soothing 
the pillows of suffering humanity, or 
in perpetual cloister they pray with- 
out ceasing for that world which 
prays not for itself. 

All these are special vocations to 
which only the smaller number may 
aspire. By far the majority of girls 
are called upon to live their lives in 
the world, to hold high amidst the 
temptations, distractions and heavy 



86 Catholic Girlhood 

cares of worldly life, the ideals they 
were taught at school ; to be apostles 
within their own little circle, showing 
by their excellent example, to the hos- 
tility of the bigoted and to the in- 
difference of the careless observer, 
what the Catholic Church expects of 
her children and what innocence she 
presumes in those to whom she offers 
the Mother of our Redeemer as a 
model. 

The Fathers of the Church tell us 
that in ancient times the women of 
the Christians were a standing object 
of wonder and jealousy to their 
unconverted neighbors. The pagans 
could not realize the purifying force 
of the new religion. The non-Catho- 
lic of today ought to experience a 
similar emotion on considering our 
Catholic girls; and he certainly can- 
not fail to do so if these latter hold 
fast to their convent traditions and 



Catholic Girlhood 87 

put into practice the advice so 
earnestly given them at school. 

When young people return home 
after a brilliant course, they rarely 
err on the side of self-diffidence. 
They fancy, as a rule, that the world 
and the fulness thereof is theirs for 
the asking, that there is no success 
to which they may not attain. They 
have some grand object in view, 
towards which all their aspirations 
tend. It is some dream of bliss, 
some prize they think worthy of their 
efforts — something that will give them 
the happiness they crave. Years 
dissolve these fancies as mists recede 
before the sun ; our lives never resem- 
ble our early aspirations, never 
square with the programs we first 
mapped out. The day-dreams of 
youth are harmless things enough — 
gossamer threads of fancy and senti- 
ment which the relentless logic of 



88 Catholic Girlhood 

circumstances soon tears to shreds. 
But there is one ideal which every 
Catholic girl should put before her- 
self on leaving school, an ideal she 
should ponder over, that each day 
may bring it into bolder mental relief: 
the ideal of a Catholic, true, , come 
what may, proud of her faith, up- 
holding her Church loyally, living a 
life that will do credit to the creed 
she professes. Now let us glance at 
some of the practical ways in which 
a Catholic girl who has just left 
school, without ever setting aside the 
modesty of budding womanhood, 
may strive to realize this ideal. 

A Catholic girl living in the world 
ought to be first and always a Catho- 
lic; not a Catholic merely in the 
seclusion of the church or the privacy 
of the home, but a Catholic on the 
street, in society, everywhere. With 
us Catholics, religion is not some- 



Catholic Girlhood 89 

thing for use only on state occasions, 
something which we put on with our 
Sunday clothes then lay aside care- 
fully for the rest of the week. Oh, 
no! With us religion is an influence 
ever with us, a mentor with a word of 
praise or blame for every act. If, 
then, we are to be Catholics at all, 
we must be Catholics all along the 
line. Our Lord wants no divided 
allegiance, nor does the Church want 
half-hearted children. 

Oh, she is glorious, our Church, she 
is worthy of our love and our pride! 
She is not of yesterday, but has 
already lasted two thousand years! 
She is holy, that Church founded by 
Christ on His Apostles, watered by 
the blood of martyrs, propagated by 
the purest and best of mankind. 
She is apostolic, that Church which 
aspires only to do good, that Church 
which in saving men's souls has also 



90 Catholic Girlhood 

healed their bodies ! She is ours, that 
Church whose doctrines, held by our 
ancestors through dark days of perse- 
cution, we learned at our mother's 
knee; whose sacraments sanctify us, 
whose holy rites comforted the last 
moments of those we held dear and 
placed them in that bliss where one 
day we hope to rejoin them. We 
need never blush for her but glory in 
the faith which has such a splendid 
history, and we should be ready at all 
times to fulfill its requirements. 

Hence, we should never hesitate 
when among strangers, in hotels or 
elsewhere, to say grace before meals, 
to observe Friday abstinence, to 
perform our customary devotions. 
It is a matter of simple duty; that 
thought should be sufficient to enable 
us to overcome any sickly human 
respect. And we shall never lose 
anything, even from a worldly point 



Catholic Girlhood 91 

of view, by such legitimate exer- 
cise of our independence. Everyone 
respects one who has the courage of 
his convictions, everyone despises a 
time-server. 

Next, if at home we are in the 
habit of wearing some religious em- 
blem, such as a badge of the Sacred 
Heart or a medal of the Blessed Vir- 
gin, we should not lay it aside when 
we go abroad. This would be mild 
treason, entirely unworthy of a loyal 
Catholic. Let us nail our colors to 
the mast and make everyone respect 
them. "Utilitarianism," the thing 
that suits, is the religion of the day. 
In the absence of settled convictions 
the mind is the prey of every fancy 
vagrant fashion commands. Let us 
then have convictions and uphold 
them; let us have principles and be 
true to them; let us have ambitions 
and strive to realize them ; let us have 



92 Catholic Girlhood 

ideals and make sacrifices for them! 
Our flag is the flag of the Catholic 
Church. Let us rally around it in 
spite of ten thousand bristling antag- 
onisms. It has waved in triumph 
over countless stricken fields; it has 
withstood the battle shocks of twenty 
centuries. For those who persevere, 
Heaven lies hidden in its folds. 

Loyalty to her faith is, then, the 
foundation of a Catholic girl's life, 
and this dominant note naturally 
modulates into one of anxiety to serve 
the grand old Church to which she 
belongs. Every Catholic girl ought 
to be an apostle within her own circle 
— one who has ideas and tries to 
spread them, who sees where there is 
good to be done and endeavors to do 
it; who observes that cooperation is 
necessary and proffers her services 
without waiting to be asked. 

But this apostleship that a girl 



Catholic Girlhood 93 

may fittingly undertake, in what does 
it consist? Does it mean that, for- 
getting maidenly reserve, she must 
air her " views' ' on the public plat- 
form on matters concerning which 
she is incompetent to express an 
opinion? By no means. Does it 
mean that in and out of season she 
must buttonhole her friends and 
those who are not her friends, and 
inquire after the health of their souls? 
Still less. The Catholic Church has 
never looked with favor on noisy, 
self-assertive, spectacular methods 
of doing good. It means simply this : 
that wherever and whenever Catholic 
interests are at stake, our girl is ready 
to give not her money only, but her 
time, her talents, her energy, her 
young enthusiasm, to make the proj- 
ect a success. 

Saint Paul speaks highly of Pris- 
cilla, his " fellow-helper in Christ 



94 Catholic Girlhood 

Jesus/ ' sends greetings to Mary, 
"who hath labored much among 
you," to Tryphena and Traphosa, 
"who labor in the Lord," to Rufus, 
"elect in the Lord and his mother 
and mineT He commends to the 
Christians of Rome "Phebe our 
sister," and praises the "unfeigned 
faith" taught to his disciple Timothy 
by Timothy's grandmother, Lois, 
and his mother, Eunice. 

Many of the most remarkable 
saints of the early Church were 
women — young girls at that. Saint 
Agnes, Saint Cecilia, Saint Lucy and 
Saint Agatha were all rich young 
ladies of high family, having all the 
world had to offer, yet they won the 
martyr's crown. Saint Cecilia found 
means to convert her husband and 
her husband's brother before her 
death. Nor was the martyr's crown 
the only glory the women of these 



Catholic Girlhood 95 

times won for themselves. There 
was Saint Catherine of Alexandria, 
patroness of philosophers, herself 
deeply versed in the learning of her 
day; there was Saint Fabiola, who 
built the first hospital at Rome 
and devoted her vast wealth to the 
service of the unfortunate — an early 
Sister of Charity. There was Pul- 
cheria, empress of Constantinople, 
the loveliest woman of her day, who 
on ascending the throne at the age of 
sixteen had to protect a distracted 
Empire and a younger brother. 
When her enemies crowded around to 
rend her kingdom, they thought they 
would have an easy triumph when a 
girl reputed a saint held the sceptre. 
Attila, self -named scourge of God, 
as a preliminary to hostilities, sent a 
demand for an annual tribute; but 
he reckoned without his host. Pul- 
cheria with imperial pride answered 



96 Catholic Girlhood 

straightway that "for her friends 
indeed she had gold, but for her 
enemies only the cold steel." And 
so ably did she back up her dauntless 
words with armed legions, so mas- 
terfully did she handle the reins of 
government, that while she lived no 
successful freebooter dared lift a 
finger against the country over which 
she ruled. 

A girl of education and refinement 
has a certain position awaiting her in 
every parish. It depends entirely 
on herself whether or not she will 
accomplish the good work awaiting 
her. The first step in this direction, 
the negative part of the program, 
consists in attending all the religious 
exercises the parish affords. Some 
girls think that if they hear Mass on 
Sundays and say their prayers three 
times a week they are exemplary, 
but convent training should have 



Catholic Girlhood 97 

better results. In the positive part 
of the program, our girl can teach 
catechism, or sew for the poor, or 
assist about the altar, sacristy, or 
parish library, or lend her talents to 
train an embryo choir, or teach the 
little altar boys to serve Mass and to 
pronounce the Latin properly, or take 
a prominent part in picnics and out- 
ings and all the innocent ways by 
which societies and sodalities show 
their present prosperity and gain a 
new lease of life. 

A girl of truly Catholic spirit ought 
to consider it a wonderful privilege 
to be allowed to contribute, in how- 
ever small a degree, to the adorn- 
ment of God's House. To repair 
altar linen and vestments, to make a 
surplice, alb, or tabernacle veil, to 
give lights or flowers for the altar on 
great feast days, ought to be for her 
a labor of love. Any service gains 



98 Catholic Girlhood 

distinction from the eminence of the 
person to whom it is rendered. At 
royal courts comparatively menial 
duties are proudly discharged by the 
highest in the land, and if noblemen 
and high born ladies consider them- 
selves honored by a service to their 
king, how ought not we esteem the 
humblest duty to the King of kings! 
Here are simple, sensible, everyday 
ways in which a girl can exercise an 
apostleship, and render incalculable 
service to her pastor. A priest can- 
not do everything himself. He is fre- 
quently obliged to accept incompetent 
assistance gratefully, because nothing 
better is forthcoming. Surely he 
has a right to expect generous co- 
operation from those who are most 
qualified to give it; and who can do 
this better than the girls just home 
from school, who have as yet no 
family cares to absorb their atten- 



Catholic Girlhood 99 

tion, who often, indeed, lack occupa- 
tion. 

These considerations seem obvious, 
yet many never think of them. 
Others who do think of them go on 
dreaming of what they might and 
could do in some impossible case, 
and neglect the humble but necessary 
tasks that lie at their doors. 

"We shall do so much in years to 
come, 
But what have we done today? 
We shall give our gold in a princely 
sum, 
But what did we give today? 
We shall lift the heart and dry the 

tear, 
We shall plant a hope in the place 

of fear, 
We shall speak the words of love 
and cheer; 
But what did we speak today? 11 



ioo Catholic Girlhood 

There are innumerable forms of 
apostleship; the way to do good will 
never be lacking provided only we 
have the will. Let us not adjourn 
our efforts to some phantom future, 
but begin here and now. 

In order to encourage ourselves by 
example, let us glance at some of the 
Church's women. Let us think of 
Our Lady's part during the tragic 
days of Christ's Passion, and of how 
she subsequently consoled and 
strengthened the infant Church. 
When the apostles, with one excep- 
tion, fled, Mary stood undaunted at 
the foot of the cross, and the holy 
women followed "afar off." 

In a different sphere the Church 
produced those mothers who, having 
given great sons to the faith, share 
largely in the glory of their offspring. 
There is Saint Monica, the mother 
of Saint Augustine; Anathusa, the 



Catholic Girlhood ioi 

mother of Saint John Chrysostom; 
Nonna, the mother of Saint Gregory 
— women who really made these 
extraordinary men, and whose mem- 
ories will, therefore; ever be cherished. 
Other women took a prominent part 
in far-reaching reforms; thus, Saint 
Clare stood beside Francis Assisi, 
Saint Theresa beside Saint John of 
the Cross, Saint Jeanne de Chantal 
beside Saint Francis de Sales. And 
in the galaxy of great women sprung 
from the Catholic Church we dare 
not omit Joan of Arc, the marvelous 
peasant girl with the heart of a Pala- 
din and the soul of a saint. In mod- 
ern times, the shrine of Lourdes with 
all its wonders owed its inception to 
another peasant maid of France, Ber- 
nadette Soubirous; while the annals 
of charity beam with such a galaxy of 
bright names that we shall point only 
to the luster of Margaret Haughery of 



102 Catholic Girlhood 

New Orleans. Such are some of the 
women produced by the Catholic 
Church, and that Church has the 
power of working similar wonders in 
the women of the twentieth century. 
Truly there is much for girls to do ! 

But we have considered only the 
public side of the duties of a Catholic 
girl. Her private duties are within 
the home. Home! It is a magic 
word, thrilling with tender and sac- 
red associations. True home life is 
entirely a product of Christianity. 
Before Christ came, lives were spent 
in court or camp or public assemblies. 
Home life was a secondary considera- 
tion. The entrancing memories of 
childhood on which modern poets 
love to linger were then unknown. 
Scholars have remarked that Cicero, 
Vergil and Horace, the most domestic 
of the ancient writers, never allude 
to their mothers. The revolution in 



Catholic Girlhood 103 

ideals began with the little home at 
Nazareth. From the example of the 
Lord of the universe, Who was con- 
tent to be subject to His parents for 
thirty years of His life, men first 
learned what happiness is to be found 
in the home circle, what Christian 
duties are centered there, what vir- 
tues are there acquired and preserved. 
Never was there a holier spot than 
that humble home where Jesus, the 
Incarnate Son of God, grew in age 
and grace, and Mary the Immaculate 
and Joseph the Just spent their 
mortal years. The little cottage on 
the Nazareth hill differed not out- 
wardly from those surrounding it; 
within it was a true home, radiant 
with happiness, for there not only 
God's blessing lingered but God 
Himself dwelt. The presence of even 
one loving, even-tempered, unselfish 
person in any home is a source of 



104 Catholic Girlhood 

constant happiness — no cloud of 
unkindness, jealousy or misunder- 
standing can long abide in such 
an amiable presence. But the home 
at Nazareth had Joseph to guide and 
Mary to sweeten and Jesus to shed 
around it the very light of Heaven. 
Old legends tell us that about it 
shone an unearthly radiance — not a 
shechinah or glory-cloud, perhaps, 
but the beauty of perfect holiness, 
the unspeakable peace of God! 

And from that little home at Naza- 
reth there went forth grace to sanctify 
all the Christian homes of the ages. 
That homelife at Nazareth is the 
pattern every Christian family is to 
copy. Home is the sanctuary where 
God would have young people offi- 
ciate. He would have them homely 
persons, spending the best time, 
using talents and accomplishments to 
render home attractive. The amuse- 



Catholic Girlhood 105 

ments of youth are to be enjoyed 
but they should not be allowed 
to encroach unduly on homelife. A 
girl who longs to be away from home, 
who has no sooner returned from one 
friend's house than she is planning 
to be off to another's, a girl who is 
on the street constantly and refuses 
to do her share of household duties, 
whose home is in short merely a con- 
venient boarding-house for her — 
that girl decidedly is not what a 
Catholic girl should be. 

Let no girl imagine that, because 
she happens to be dainty and clever, 
obscure duties are beneath her; let 
none foolishly fancy that there is 
something lowering in commonplace 
toil. It is idleness, not work, that 
dishonors. Readiness to perform the 
most menial tasks at need is one of 
the best proofs of moral beauty. 
Lacordaire, at the height of his fame, 



106 Catholic Girlhood 

often helped the lay-brother in the 
kitchen of the Dominican convent in 
which he happened to be staying — a 
single instance where innumerable in- 
stances might be cited. The ages of 
faith illustrated this truth by legends 
of the angels. Gabriel, one story 
runs, was once sent by God to serve 
in place of a poor shoemaker lad. 

*"Then Gabriel, like a rainbow's birth, 
Spread his wings and sank to earth; 
Entered in flesh the empty cell 
Lived there, and played the craftman 
well; . . . 

"And ever o'er the trade he bent, 
And ever lived on earth content. 
He did God's will, to him all one 
If on the earth or in the sun." 

But if it is reprehensible to neglect 
home through thoughtlessness or friv- 
olity, it is baser still to use educa- 
tional advantages to appear superior 

* Browning: "The Boy and the Angel." 



Catholic Girlhood 107 

to the parents whose gift they are. 
The child who is not grateful for the 
trouble, worry and self-denial — per- 
haps even for the patient penury and 
dull years of unremitting labor, — 
which her advantages cost her par- 
ents, has reason to fear well-m'erited 
retribution. 

Nor should a girl, once she has 
left school, allow her talents to lie 
fallow. The music, drawing, paint- 
ing, languages, acquired with so much 
toil, were intended to be a source of 
pleasure and profit in maturer years, 
when some one of these carefully 
cultivated accomplishments may be 
of incalculable value. A facility in 
literary expression, a pretty knack 
in verse, an artist's dainty pencil, 
an aptitude for languages or math- 
ematics — these or any other excep- 
tional endowments are too good to 
be allowed to perish for want of exer- 



108 Catholic Girlhood 

cise. Knowledge is no burden; God 
has given us our glorious faculties for 
use. Many a weary hour of pain, 
isolation or despondency may be 
wiled away usefully with such re- 
sources. Those who have no mental 
resources must seek for outside dis- 
tractions; their lives are a continual 
strain after empty pleasures. Such 
purposeless lives, devoid of ennobling 
ambition, are deplorable even from a 
natural point of view. But to the 
Christian they are a criminal waste 
of infinite possibilities and abounding 
heavenly graces. 

" Finally, whatsoever things are 
true, whatsoever just, whatsoever 
lovely, whatsoever of good report 
. . . think of these things," and 
strive to realize them. We are all 
soldiers of Christ, to whom some 
post has been confided; we have all 
some destined task, which we alone 



Catholic Girlhood 109 

can accomplish, to perform for our 
Master. It will be our happiness 
here and our salvation hereafter to 
discharge that duty well, to toil 
faithfully at our post until our Gen- 
eral calls us Home. 



THE IDEAL OF WOMANHOOD 

Rev. P. J. Scott 

To be convinced that the Church 
has the wisdom of ages in her man- 
agement as well as the wisdom of 
eternal truth in her doctrine, one 
need go no further than the printed 
calendar of her feasts. The round 
of mysteries commemorated in the 
course of a single year furnishes a 
complete system of religion, account- 
ing for man's origin, pointing out his 
destiny and proclaiming the law by 
which that duty is to be accomplished. 
And the doctrine thus expounded is 
set anew each day in the light of 
concrete reality by the life story of 
some great Christian character, some 
sainted man or woman whose years 
on earth were ruled by the Church's 
teaching. The plan meets a double 



The Ideal of Womanhood hi 

want of our human nature. We need 
ideals, and we need individual pat- 
terns in our efforts to reach our ideals. 
A man's whole life story is one con- 
tinued effort, or a succession of re- 
peated efforts, to reach the ideal 
which he has set up as the proper 
standard of his conduct. Consciously 
or otherwise, that ideal appeals to 
him in the concrete form of some par- 
ticular person upon whose actions 
and character he strives to model his 
own. That the ideal should always 
be lofty and the model noble proves 
only our inborn longing towards 
the great and the good. True, there 
are individuals who set up false ideals 
and bad patterns, but they are the 
victims of stunted or perverted vi- 
sion. Pernicious teachings, the wiles 
of the devil or the promptings of pas- 
sions unrestrained, have given them 
false viewpoints and clouded their 



ii2 The Ideal of Womanhood 

horizons: where the poor victims 
thought to look up they have really 
and sadly looked down. Moral fail- 
ure and eternal ruin lurk in the low 
places where false ideals are en- 
throned. To warn us from these by- 
paths, the Church proclaims to all 
the great eternal principles of truth 
and justice and purity. Pointing to 
her heroes and heroines, she bids us 
learn how grand and unselfish are 
these principles in actual experience 
and how well they may be applied to 
the conduct of everyday life. These 
heroes and heroines of the Church 
are her saints, the unquestioned evi- 
dences of her holiness. Pointing 
proudly to their conduct she bids us 
in the words of her Divine Founder 
"Go thou and do in like manner." 

It is a varied and inspiring com- 
pany to which we are thus intro- 
duced, a company of friends among 



The Ideal of Womanhood 113 

whom each of us, according to age or 
position or inclination, may choose a 
special favorite and form a particular 
friendship. Be our station what it 
may, we can each find among the 
saints some creature of flesh and 
blood who, under conditions akin to 
those which surround us, has followed 
the high ideals of Christ's teaching 
and merited the Master's " Well-done, 
good and faithful servant/ ' 

To admire the saints only from a 
great distance, to regard them as 
beings far removed from us — crea- 
tures so grand and perfect that they 
could have had nothing in common 
with ourselves — is to miss the real 
meaning of the Communion of Saints. 
Many of them had unusual lives and 
followed extraordinary vocations, 
but many more became saints in 
situations which differed little from 
our own. Even those raised up by 
God for special missions had in their 



ii4 The Ideal of Womanhood 

lives much of that which the world 
calls commonplace. Nowhere is this 
more evident than in the greatest of 
all saints, God's own Blessed Mother. 
None other ever had or can have a 
dignity or a mission to be compared 
to hers; to no other was given a 
thousandth part of the graces with 
which she was endowed. She alone 
mirrored back to Heaven, without 
spot or shadow, the holiness of God 
her Creator. She was the 

"Woman above all women glorified, 
Our tainted nature's solitary boast.' ' 

Yet with all this incomparable dig- 
nity, how much of her life was given 
to cares and occupations which we 
call ordinary! 

Let us study Our Lady in the cere- 
mony of the Purification — her con- 
duct there shows the regular trend of 
her life. According to the Mosaic 
law a woman who had borne a male 



The Ideal of Womanhood 115 

child to her husband should come to 
the temple forty days after her deliv- 
ery and there offer two sacrifices, a 
lamb for a burnt-offering and a pigeon 
as a sin offering or, in case of poverty, 
two pigeons or turtle-doves; and 
having made these offerings, she 
should receive the blessing of the 
priest and be declared free from legal 
uncleanness. Mary performed the 
ceremony just as other women of her 
race were wont to do. In the intent 
of the law she was not at all bound. 
She had borne her Divine Son not to 
a husband, but by "the power of the 
Most High." Her virginity was a 
glory she might justly have pro- 
claimed before all. But glory before 
the world had no allurements for 
her; rather would she walk perfectly 
the way of common obedience, thank- 
ing God for His favors and trusting 
God for her reward. 



n6 The Ideal of Womanhood 

This conduct expresses the consist- 
ent attitude of the life of the Mother 
of Christ. To the world about her 
she was simply a child of the people, 
performing successively the duties of 
a maiden and a mother in Israel. 
Born of God-fearing parents she grew 
up among her neighbors, simply a 
well-favored child who with the pass- 
ing years ripened into usefulness and 
was marked for gentleness and obe- 
dience. At a tender age she was 
given in marriage to a just man 
named Joseph, who took her to his 
humble home at Nazareth; and for 
all that her neighbors knew, this fair 
creature whom God's angels acknowl- 
edged their Queen was simply the 
wife of a poor and honest carpenter. 
In no way did she seek to place her- 
self above the women of her class, and 
in outward demeanor she differed 
from them only by her perfect sweet- 



The Ideal of Womanhood 117 

ness of disposition and her unfailing 
charity in word and work. It is not 
difficult to picture her dwelling place 
as a model of neatness and thrift, a 
fireside brightened with the thousand 
resourceful activities by which the 
true woman knows how to make 
home an earthly paradise even for 
the poor. For full thirty years the 
history of the Blessed Mother is told 
in the simple story of domestic life. 

That Mary must be to all future 
ages, as she has been for time past, 
the highest ideal of Christian woman- 
hood, is a truth which cannot be too 
strongly emphasized in our days. 
Shifting theories are the fashion of 
the hour, and nearly all of these have 
something to say about woman's posi- 
tion in the economic scheme. Much 
of what is thus advanced is unsound 
and some of it is positively unclean. 
But passing over the grosser theories 



n8 The Ideal of Womanhood 

which carry their own condemnation, 
there are other conditions which for 
the time, at least, tend to set up 
ideals far removed from the charms 
of the family circle. On all sides we 
find women engaged in occupations 
and professions which were closed 
fields to their grandmothers, occupa- 
tions which, though honorable and 
lucrative, are little calculated to 
develop the best side of woman's 
nature or to satisfy the highest long- 
ings of woman's heart. One cause 
for the situation is late marriage; and 
this in towns is due to the growing 
selfishness of men and the nonsense 
of fashionable weddings with preten- 
tious homes for the newlywed. 

Woman's true kingdom is the home, 
there alone can she create her own 
atmosphere and exercise her highest 
and best activity. Bereft of those 
ties which keep woman's heart tender 



The Ideal of Womanhood 119 

and her speech gentle, some may for 
a time lure their sisters on with high- 
sounding phrases about purifying 
politics and uplifting the race, but 
the emptiness of it all must soon 
appear. The crowd will come back 
to lift their eyes with fonder rever- 
ence to the Madonna and Child, and 
to give their hearts anew to the ideal 
which that picture represents. 

It is worthy of note that the Gos- 
pel writers who tell us all we know 
about Our Blessed Lady confine her 
activities to the duties of domestic 
life. When they narrate the birth of 
Our Saviour and the vicissitudes of 
His infancy, Mary is in the fore- 
ground of the picture. During the 
long quiet years at Nazareth, she is 
still the dominant figure; for " Jesus 
went down with them . . . and 
was subject to them." Come the 
stirring years of Christ's public life, 



120 The Ideal of Womanhood 

and Mary disappears in the back- 
ground. Jesus had a Kingdom to 
found, laws to proclaim and officers 
to choose; and in none of these did 
His great Mother have any part. 
But He had a cross to bear; and when 
that burden pressed heavily upon 
Him and Calvary loomed far and 
high in the distance, Mary comes 
again upon the scene and turns to 
Him a countenance full of sorrow but 
fuller still of that mother love which 
shines never so brightly as through 
tears. No arms but hers must receive 
that dead form from the cross, as no 
eyes but hers should first feast upon 
its glory in the Resurrection. 

Following Mary's pattern, true 
Christian women of all ages have 
sought and found their highest sphere 
in the home. There they have exer- 
cised a power they could never use 
elsewhere; there they have wielded 



The Ideal of Womanhood 121 

an influence more far-reaching than 
the enactments of legislatures or the 
decrees of law-courts or the mandates 
of states' executives. Many a man 
who would have snapped his fingers 
at all the laws of the land and laughed 
to scorn the fear of a judge's sentence 
and prison bars, has halted on the 
verge of crime and slunk back cowed 
and repentant before the pained face 
of wife or daughter which rose like a 
guardian angel to stay his uplifted 
hand, to stifle the deadly purpose in 
his heart. When at the last j udgment 
God's angels shall spread before 
assembled mankind the full story of 
the great deeds which history calls 
heroic, the inspiration of the best of 
them shall be written in the simple 
words, mother, wife, daughter. 

Even when home holds but the 
commonplace, it still affords to the 
Christian woman a mission truly 
sublime. Hers is the privilege of nur- 



122 The Ideal of Womanhood 

turing and caring for the dependence 
of infancy, of safeguarding youth's 
unfolding, which opens under her 
loving care like flowers under God's 
sunshine. Love, holy and unselfish, 
fills her life. During all her wakeful 
hours it finds constant expression in 
the thousand little cares and precau- 
tions which she employs to train the 
heart and the affection of the chil- 
dren whom God has sent to bless her. 
At night it peoples her dreams with 
visions of glory that shall be hers only 
because it shall first have come to 
her children. 

Mother love is ever young. When 
the youth, full grown and no longer 
in need of its tender ministrations, 
goes forth as a man to do his share in 
life's work and bear his part of the 
world's strife, the influence and in- 
spiration of home are still with him, 
strengthening and purifying his am- 
bition, stimulating continued effort, 



The Ideal of Womanhood 123 

making doubly sweet the hope of 
final success. If, perchance, sorrow 
or illness visit that life, the mother 
comes again to claim her place as the 
ministering angel at his bedside, to 
smooth from the fevered brow the 
wrinkles of pain, to buoy up the op- 
pressed soul with that fulness of ten- 
der hope and patience which wells so 
deep in a good woman's heart. 

Whatever the new theories may 
offer, they cannot promise to banish 
pain and sorrow from woman's life. 
They can give her only selfish inter- 
ests, and no good woman who has 
loved and suffered the joys and sor- 
rows of home would change her lot 
for the fullest measure of selfish glory. 
Home is woman's dream of a Heaven 
on earth. 

* "O Christian women, wives, 
mothers, sisters, daughters, look up 

*Rev. Robert Kane, S. J.: The Plain Gold 
Ring. 



124 The Ideal of Womanhood 

to that glorious ideal and try to make 
it true on earth. Home should be a 
human heaven and you are the angels 
who can make it so. Dream your 
dream of happy home. Dream till 
your very dream born within your 
fancy shall yet grow into real fact. 
Think not that all your influence is 
lost because you see no sign of actual 
happiness, no proof of actual holiness. 
Be still an angel of light and loveliness 
and love. When you are dead and 
over your cold heart the green grass 
grows and even your name is being 
washed away from the tombstone by 
the rain or the sleet or the snow, your 
voice will still echo like music to a 
living ear, your face will be still 
present before living eyes, you will 
yourself be still living by your living 
influence within the living memory of 
him who can never forget you — and 
to husband, brother or son you will 



The Ideal of Womanhood 125 

still be all the years of his life in his 
living, loving heart what you were to 
him once in his home, an angel of 
light and loveliness and love." 



